As part of an ongoing feature, I bring you the best in college related "MyLifeisGood" "MyLifeisAverage" and "FuckMyLife" (Part One is here):

The Boy Wizard Lives

• Yesterday, I went to visit my brother at his college with my family. When we were about to drop him off at his dorm at night, we passed a bunch of people holding broomsticks on a street corner. My brother said, "that's the Quidditch team." I can't wait for college. MLIA
• Today I was walking around my college campus and saw a few flyers for Quidditch Team next to the math and science tutoring flyers. All of the phone numbers were ripped off the the Quidditch ones and none for the tutoring. I love this school. MLIA
• Today, I was taking a tour of a college when we passed a stone building that looked a lot like Hogwarts. When the tour guide asked if there were any question, I raised my hand and asked if they allowed Muggle Borns. The tour guide said yes, and sometimes even Squibs. The other tour guide nodded seriously. I am definitely applying here. MLIA
• Today was my first year of the new semester of college. I'd read reviews about one of my professor being on the mean side, and was terrified. When I came into the room, not only was he dressed as Snape, but every time somebody answered a question he'd yell, "TEN POINTS FROM GRIFFINDOR." MLIA.

I agree, your life is fucked.

• Today, I was doing laundry at college. There was a pile of clothes sitting on top of a dryer, but the dryer was empty so I used it. I came back to a note saying, "Don't touch my laundry, asshole" and a dryer filled with urine soaked laundry. FML
• Today, I began my job as an intern at a high school. I saw one of the students looked very familiar, and I couldn't remember from where. Then I figured it out, I had hooked up with him at a club last week. He's a junior in high school, I'm in my last year of college. FML

This would never happen at Pitzer.

• Today, the men clearing the walkway outside my dorm room, with a snowblower didn't realize that my window was open. I looked over from my computer to see snow shooting in, covering my clock, closet, and radio. And now it's melting. FML
• Today is my first day at college. It rained really hard. I was one of about 150 students to go mud sliding. I know I picked the right school. MLIA.
• Today, I decided to make a toaster scramble. I thought it was bad enough when the pastry fell through the grate in the toaster over. Then it burst into flames. After 5 minutes of fanning the smoke away from the smoke detector, it still went off. Now my entire dorm building is outside in a snowstorm. FML
• Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML

But this definitely might.

• Today, in writing class we decided Winnie the Pooh is an anarchist. I love college MLIA
• Today, I was expecting my parents over to my dorm when I realized that the room smelled like weed a little. Thinking that no one would recognize the smell, I didn't do anything. As soon as my parents and little sister walk in my room, my sister yells "It smells like weed in here!" She's 10. FML
• Today was Disney movie night at my college. The first movie was Aladdin. When "A Whole New World" started, everyone in the theater sang along and then clapped at the end. I totally chose the right college. MLIA.
• Today floormates and I got bored so we decided to play "The Floor is Made of Lava" We took all of the furniture from the lounges and placed them all the way around our floor so we could climb on them and stay out of the lava. Our whole floor played, even the RA. I'm a sophomore in college. MLIA

Dry Week, and beyond.

• Today I was supposed to give a presentation to the incoming freshman about the dangers of drinking in college. My co-presenter showed up drunk. FML
• Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML
• Today, after a night of partying, I woke up in the middle of my co-ed dorm lobby to the sound of giggles. I was in a thong with $1 monopoly bills sticking out. I'm a guy. FML

Roommate Conflict Resolution

• Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML
• Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
• Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML
• Today my friend from high school called me on the second day at her college to tell me that her room has become 'the cool room' because she and her roommates threw a party the first night. I informed her that my room had become the cool room at my college because everyone found out that we had bubbles. My college wins. MLIA.
• Today, my roommate posted her status as, "...loves her multi-colored dorm room and her multi-talented roommate." I had painted the whole room different pastel colors and hung up some of my artwork. I have never felt so appreciated in my whole life! MLIG

Student-Professor Interaction

• Today, I went running through the sprinklers at my college. When a professor approached me, I assumed he was going to scold me for doing so, instead, he sat his papers down and pulled up his pant legs and joined me. MLIA
• Today, our professor was 10 minutes late for class, so we were all sitting there chatting with each other. All of a sudden the lights went off and 'Drop It Like It's Hot' came on. 2 minutes later our professor walks in, dressed like a gangster, fully equipped with bling and a tshirt that says "Weapon of Math Instruction". I'm confident I'll pass math this year. MLIA
• Today in class, the professor asked us a question. I began to look down at my desk in hopes of looking disinterested in the subject so I would get called on. She called on me and I gave her the correct answer. I felt like I tricked the system. MLIA

Community Building

• Today, some girls just knocked on my dorm room door, handed me a plate of sugar cookies and skipped off. The cookies are fresh-baked and delicious. MLIG!
  
• I was upset because my long distance boyfriend and I had a serious talk about our relationship. I walked into the hallway of my dorm crying and two friends that I've known for less than a week comforted me and helped me calm down and stop crying. Because of my brand new friends, MLIG.
  
• Today was my first day of college. I found out that my hallway is pirate-themed and the opposing hallway is ninja-themed. We will have the best wars ever. MLIA
• Today, my best friend and I put down the college homework and picked up our rainboots. We danced in the storm (literally) and had an awesome talk. I know in 20 years I won't remember what my grades were but I know I'll never forget friendships like hers. MLIG
• Today, I decided to make pancakes for my friends and any random person in my dorm. Everything from chocolate chips to cinnamon to gummy bear pancakes ended up pretty tasty. Seeing other people happy from doing something simple is impossibly rewarding, so, MLIG.

College Kids Love Their Cable TV

• Today, I forgot to turn my phone on silent before going to class. During economics my phone went off really loud, I have the Kim Possible Kimmunicator ring-tone. The class went silent except for one guy who yelled to me "What's the sitch?" I am a freshman in college. This made my entire week. MLIA
• Today was the first day of Spanish class. My teacher actually requires us to watch Dora the Explorer for homework. I'm much more excited about this than I should be. I'm a Sophomore male in College. MLIA
• Today, I moved into my college dorm. The theme on my floor is Pokemon, and all the doors have magnetic Pokemons that you can trade. Now I know college is going to be awesome. MLIA.

At Harvey Mudd, you could have both.

• Today I was shopping with my mom for college stuff. Bed sheets were the next item on the lists. She picked out some navy blue ones. We continued shopping when we passed the kid isle. I saw a set of transformers bedsheets. I am choosing to sacrifice getting laid so I can sleep with Optimus Prime nightly. MLIA.

As part of an ongoing feature, I bring you the best in college related "MyLifeisGood" "MyLifeisAverage" and "FuckMyLife" (Part One is here):

The Boy Wizard Lives

• Yesterday, I went to visit my brother at his college with my family. When we were about to drop him off at his dorm at night, we passed a bunch of people holding broomsticks on a street corner. My brother said, "that's the Quidditch team." I can't wait for college. MLIA
• Today I was walking around my college campus and saw a few flyers for Quidditch Team next to the math and science tutoring flyers. All of the phone numbers were ripped off the the Quidditch ones and none for the tutoring. I love this school. MLIA
• Today, I was taking a tour of a college when we passed a stone building that looked a lot like Hogwarts. When the tour guide asked if there were any question, I raised my hand and asked if they allowed Muggle Borns. The tour guide said yes, and sometimes even Squibs. The other tour guide nodded seriously. I am definitely applying here. MLIA
• Today was my first year of the new semester of college. I'd read reviews about one of my professor being on the mean side, and was terrified. When I came into the room, not only was he dressed as Snape, but every time somebody answered a question he'd yell, "TEN POINTS FROM GRIFFINDOR." MLIA.

I agree, your life is fucked.

• Today, I was doing laundry at college. There was a pile of clothes sitting on top of a dryer, but the dryer was empty so I used it. I came back to a note saying, "Don't touch my laundry, asshole" and a dryer filled with urine soaked laundry. FML
• Today, I began my job as an intern at a high school. I saw one of the students looked very familiar, and I couldn't remember from where. Then I figured it out, I had hooked up with him at a club last week. He's a junior in high school, I'm in my last year of college. FML

This would never happen at Pitzer.

• Today, the men clearing the walkway outside my dorm room, with a snowblower didn't realize that my window was open. I looked over from my computer to see snow shooting in, covering my clock, closet, and radio. And now it's melting. FML
• Today is my first day at college. It rained really hard. I was one of about 150 students to go mud sliding. I know I picked the right school. MLIA.
• Today, I decided to make a toaster scramble. I thought it was bad enough when the pastry fell through the grate in the toaster over. Then it burst into flames. After 5 minutes of fanning the smoke away from the smoke detector, it still went off. Now my entire dorm building is outside in a snowstorm. FML
• Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML

But this definitely might.

• Today, in writing class we decided Winnie the Pooh is an anarchist. I love college MLIA
• Today, I was expecting my parents over to my dorm when I realized that the room smelled like weed a little. Thinking that no one would recognize the smell, I didn't do anything. As soon as my parents and little sister walk in my room, my sister yells "It smells like weed in here!" She's 10. FML
• Today was Disney movie night at my college. The first movie was Aladdin. When "A Whole New World" started, everyone in the theater sang along and then clapped at the end. I totally chose the right college. MLIA.
• Today floormates and I got bored so we decided to play "The Floor is Made of Lava" We took all of the furniture from the lounges and placed them all the way around our floor so we could climb on them and stay out of the lava. Our whole floor played, even the RA. I'm a sophomore in college. MLIA

Dry Week, and beyond.

• Today I was supposed to give a presentation to the incoming freshman about the dangers of drinking in college. My co-presenter showed up drunk. FML
• Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML
• Today, after a night of partying, I woke up in the middle of my co-ed dorm lobby to the sound of giggles. I was in a thong with $1 monopoly bills sticking out. I'm a guy. FML

Roommate Conflict Resolution

• Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML
• Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
• Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML
• Today my friend from high school called me on the second day at her college to tell me that her room has become 'the cool room' because she and her roommates threw a party the first night. I informed her that my room had become the cool room at my college because everyone found out that we had bubbles. My college wins. MLIA.
• Today, my roommate posted her status as, "...loves her multi-colored dorm room and her multi-talented roommate." I had painted the whole room different pastel colors and hung up some of my artwork. I have never felt so appreciated in my whole life! MLIG

Student-Professor Interaction

• Today, I went running through the sprinklers at my college. When a professor approached me, I assumed he was going to scold me for doing so, instead, he sat his papers down and pulled up his pant legs and joined me. MLIA
• Today, our professor was 10 minutes late for class, so we were all sitting there chatting with each other. All of a sudden the lights went off and 'Drop It Like It's Hot' came on. 2 minutes later our professor walks in, dressed like a gangster, fully equipped with bling and a tshirt that says "Weapon of Math Instruction". I'm confident I'll pass math this year. MLIA
• Today in class, the professor asked us a question. I began to look down at my desk in hopes of looking disinterested in the subject so I would get called on. She called on me and I gave her the correct answer. I felt like I tricked the system. MLIA

Community Building

• Today, some girls just knocked on my dorm room door, handed me a plate of sugar cookies and skipped off. The cookies are fresh-baked and delicious. MLIG!
  
• I was upset because my long distance boyfriend and I had a serious talk about our relationship. I walked into the hallway of my dorm crying and two friends that I've known for less than a week comforted me and helped me calm down and stop crying. Because of my brand new friends, MLIG.
  
• Today was my first day of college. I found out that my hallway is pirate-themed and the opposing hallway is ninja-themed. We will have the best wars ever. MLIA
• Today, my best friend and I put down the college homework and picked up our rainboots. We danced in the storm (literally) and had an awesome talk. I know in 20 years I won't remember what my grades were but I know I'll never forget friendships like hers. MLIG
• Today, I decided to make pancakes for my friends and any random person in my dorm. Everything from chocolate chips to cinnamon to gummy bear pancakes ended up pretty tasty. Seeing other people happy from doing something simple is impossibly rewarding, so, MLIG.

College Kids Love Their Cable TV

• Today, I forgot to turn my phone on silent before going to class. During economics my phone went off really loud, I have the Kim Possible Kimmunicator ring-tone. The class went silent except for one guy who yelled to me "What's the sitch?" I am a freshman in college. This made my entire week. MLIA
• Today was the first day of Spanish class. My teacher actually requires us to watch Dora the Explorer for homework. I'm much more excited about this than I should be. I'm a Sophomore male in College. MLIA
• Today, I moved into my college dorm. The theme on my floor is Pokemon, and all the doors have magnetic Pokemons that you can trade. Now I know college is going to be awesome. MLIA.

At Harvey Mudd, you could have both.

• Today I was shopping with my mom for college stuff. Bed sheets were the next item on the lists. She picked out some navy blue ones. We continued shopping when we passed the kid isle. I saw a set of transformers bedsheets. I am choosing to sacrifice getting laid so I can sleep with Optimus Prime nightly. MLIA.

On the occasion of my 21st birthday and having mentor training eat up all of my time, I bring you the best in college related "MyLifeisGood" "MyLifeisAverage" and "FuckMyLife":

Admissions

• Today, I found out that 15 years ago my father threw out my college acceptance letters so that I could stay home and take over the family's funeral home business. FML
• Today I was being interviewed for college by a really cool admissions guy. It was an American school and I'm English. After twenty minutes he asked me to say "Harry Potter" five times. I did. He high fived me. I think I'm in with a chance. MLIA.
• Today, I realized that if I had gotten into Yale I would have gone there based solely on the prestige, and ignored what has turned out to be the perfect college for me. I didn't get in! MyLifeIsG!

Getting Ready

• Today I am moving to college so I thought it appropriate to say "My last _____ here" before everything I do. So when I went to take a shower, I turned on the water at full force and said "Aw, my last shower here". Immediately the water pressure went significantly down. I feel like my shower is sad to see me go. MLIA
• Tonight I went star gazing with two of my best friends since childhood. It is one of the few nights we have together before we go off to college and start our adult lives, which I know we will always be a part of in some way. MLIG.
• Today, I went to Walgreens to buy things I may need for college. I walked out with Dr. Pepper freeze pop. I think I'm ready. MLIA
• Today, my sister and I went to the the biggest hill in California and watched the sunset over the ocean. We both cried because she's leaving for college in a week. We used to not get along, but now she is the most important person in my life. MLIG just because shes in it

Orientation

• Today, I am the first one in my family to go to college. MLIG
• Yesterday I had my college orientation. I set my alarm clock to play "Eye of the Tiger" when I woke up so that I would have a competitive edge over my peers. I think it worked. MLIA
• Today at my college orientation I met a kid named Ron with red hair and a kid named Harry who wore glasses. I felt like I was going to school at Hogwarts. MLIA
• Today, I met a boy named Peter Piper at my college orientation. I asked him if he had ever picked a peck of pickled peppers. He said yes. We hugged. I think I found my soulmate. MLIA.

Keeping in Touch

• Today, I was leaving school to go register for college. As I was rushing out, a random kid said "Congratulations!" and walked away snickering. When I got outside, my mom was dressed in my college's colors and had decorated our car with balloons and paint. About half the school was out there. FM
• Today, I got home from college. Since I haven't seen my parents in almost a year I sorta expected them to come meet me/pick me up at the airport. Nope. What did I get instead? A text from my dad saying, "I hope you have a key." FML

Dorm Life

• Today, I moved into my dorm room. I was carrying around a pencil in the hallway when I saw another guy moving in. He saw the pencil, pointed his finger at me, and yelled "Expelliarmus!" I threw it like I really had been disarmed. College will be fun. MLIA
• Today I brought my old Nintendo 64 back to my college dorm and started to play Mario Kart. I am now the most popular guy in my dorm. MLIA

Spring Break

• Today, I was enjoying my last day of Spring Break in Panama City. I got up to dance on the stage at the Holiday Inn in front of hundreds of college kids. I tried to be sexy by turning around and bending over. My friends took pictures and my bloody tampon string was hanging out the whole time. FML
• Today, my friends and I were celebrating Spring Break by going out to a club. I saw a very, very cute girl sipping a drink at the bar all by herself. Trying to be a stud I walked over and said "What are you doing Friday night?" Her response: "Not you." FML

Academics

• Today I was thinking about college and whether or not I should switch my major. I'm currently majoring in Biosystems Engineering. I just realized that if I stay with this, I'll be getting a BS in BS engineering. Needless to say, I will not be changing majors. MLIA
• I happened to write my first college paper the night before it was due, which was also the first night I ever got stoned. It was returned to me with an A on it. MLIG!
• Today, I spent the day playing Pokemon Emerald. Even though I'm in college and have finals this week. But you know what? I had SO MUCH FUN. Screw exams, MLIG. :]

In Progress

• Today I graduated high school! I can't wait for college! MLIG!
• Today, I found out I got through my freshman year of college with straight As. MLIG!
• Today, I realized that I'm halfway done with college, I have a job for the summer and the school year, and I think I'm falling in love! MyLifeIsG!
• Today, I turned in an 18-page final paper. I'm so close to finishing college! MLIG!
• Today I found out I passed all my classes. I am officially a college graduate. MLIG.

Life After College

• Today, I saved a life for the first time. I finally truly realize why all those years of college, med school, and residency were worth it. The joy and awe has blown me away. MLIG
• When me and my boyfriend were freshmen in high school, we promised we would break it off after senior year before we go off to college. This incoming fall, we are still together. As seniors in grad school. Our lives are g.
• Today, I was thinking about my college chemistry class, during summer vacation. Instead of thinking about chemical reactions, I was thinking about how I met my first girlfriend, the love of my life, and my future wife because we happened to be in the same class. MLIG

Related posts:

1. The Circle of College Life (as told through MLiG, MLIA, and FML) ...