On the occasion of my 21st birthday and having mentor training eat up all of my time, I bring you the best in college related "MyLifeisGood" "MyLifeisAverage" and "FuckMyLife":

Admissions

• Today, I found out that 15 years ago my father threw out my college acceptance letters so that I could stay home and take over the family's funeral home business. FML
• Today I was being interviewed for college by a really cool admissions guy. It was an American school and I'm English. After twenty minutes he asked me to say "Harry Potter" five times. I did. He high fived me. I think I'm in with a chance. MLIA.
• Today, I realized that if I had gotten into Yale I would have gone there based solely on the prestige, and ignored what has turned out to be the perfect college for me. I didn't get in! MyLifeIsG!

Getting Ready

• Today I am moving to college so I thought it appropriate to say "My last _____ here" before everything I do. So when I went to take a shower, I turned on the water at full force and said "Aw, my last shower here". Immediately the water pressure went significantly down. I feel like my shower is sad to see me go. MLIA
• Tonight I went star gazing with two of my best friends since childhood. It is one of the few nights we have together before we go off to college and start our adult lives, which I know we will always be a part of in some way. MLIG.
• Today, I went to Walgreens to buy things I may need for college. I walked out with Dr. Pepper freeze pop. I think I'm ready. MLIA
• Today, my sister and I went to the the biggest hill in California and watched the sunset over the ocean. We both cried because she's leaving for college in a week. We used to not get along, but now she is the most important person in my life. MLIG just because shes in it

Orientation

• Today, I am the first one in my family to go to college. MLIG
• Yesterday I had my college orientation. I set my alarm clock to play "Eye of the Tiger" when I woke up so that I would have a competitive edge over my peers. I think it worked. MLIA
• Today at my college orientation I met a kid named Ron with red hair and a kid named Harry who wore glasses. I felt like I was going to school at Hogwarts. MLIA
• Today, I met a boy named Peter Piper at my college orientation. I asked him if he had ever picked a peck of pickled peppers. He said yes. We hugged. I think I found my soulmate. MLIA.

Keeping in Touch

• Today, I was leaving school to go register for college. As I was rushing out, a random kid said "Congratulations!" and walked away snickering. When I got outside, my mom was dressed in my college's colors and had decorated our car with balloons and paint. About half the school was out there. FM
• Today, I got home from college. Since I haven't seen my parents in almost a year I sorta expected them to come meet me/pick me up at the airport. Nope. What did I get instead? A text from my dad saying, "I hope you have a key." FML

Dorm Life

• Today, I moved into my dorm room. I was carrying around a pencil in the hallway when I saw another guy moving in. He saw the pencil, pointed his finger at me, and yelled "Expelliarmus!" I threw it like I really had been disarmed. College will be fun. MLIA
• Today I brought my old Nintendo 64 back to my college dorm and started to play Mario Kart. I am now the most popular guy in my dorm. MLIA

Spring Break

• Today, I was enjoying my last day of Spring Break in Panama City. I got up to dance on the stage at the Holiday Inn in front of hundreds of college kids. I tried to be sexy by turning around and bending over. My friends took pictures and my bloody tampon string was hanging out the whole time. FML
• Today, my friends and I were celebrating Spring Break by going out to a club. I saw a very, very cute girl sipping a drink at the bar all by herself. Trying to be a stud I walked over and said "What are you doing Friday night?" Her response: "Not you." FML

Academics

• Today I was thinking about college and whether or not I should switch my major. I'm currently majoring in Biosystems Engineering. I just realized that if I stay with this, I'll be getting a BS in BS engineering. Needless to say, I will not be changing majors. MLIA
• I happened to write my first college paper the night before it was due, which was also the first night I ever got stoned. It was returned to me with an A on it. MLIG!
• Today, I spent the day playing Pokemon Emerald. Even though I'm in college and have finals this week. But you know what? I had SO MUCH FUN. Screw exams, MLIG. :]

In Progress

• Today I graduated high school! I can't wait for college! MLIG!
• Today, I found out I got through my freshman year of college with straight As. MLIG!
• Today, I realized that I'm halfway done with college, I have a job for the summer and the school year, and I think I'm falling in love! MyLifeIsG!
• Today, I turned in an 18-page final paper. I'm so close to finishing college! MLIG!
• Today I found out I passed all my classes. I am officially a college graduate. MLIG.

Life After College

• Today, I saved a life for the first time. I finally truly realize why all those years of college, med school, and residency were worth it. The joy and awe has blown me away. MLIG
• When me and my boyfriend were freshmen in high school, we promised we would break it off after senior year before we go off to college. This incoming fall, we are still together. As seniors in grad school. Our lives are g.
• Today, I was thinking about my college chemistry class, during summer vacation. Instead of thinking about chemical reactions, I was thinking about how I met my first girlfriend, the love of my life, and my future wife because we happened to be in the same class. MLIG

On the occasion of my 21st birthday and having mentor training eat up all of my time, I bring you the best in college related "MyLifeisGood" "MyLifeisAverage" and "FuckMyLife":

Admissions

• Today, I found out that 15 years ago my father threw out my college acceptance letters so that I could stay home and take over the family's funeral home business. FML
• Today I was being interviewed for college by a really cool admissions guy. It was an American school and I'm English. After twenty minutes he asked me to say "Harry Potter" five times. I did. He high fived me. I think I'm in with a chance. MLIA.
• Today, I realized that if I had gotten into Yale I would have gone there based solely on the prestige, and ignored what has turned out to be the perfect college for me. I didn't get in! MyLifeIsG!

Getting Ready

• Today I am moving to college so I thought it appropriate to say "My last _____ here" before everything I do. So when I went to take a shower, I turned on the water at full force and said "Aw, my last shower here". Immediately the water pressure went significantly down. I feel like my shower is sad to see me go. MLIA
• Tonight I went star gazing with two of my best friends since childhood. It is one of the few nights we have together before we go off to college and start our adult lives, which I know we will always be a part of in some way. MLIG.
• Today, I went to Walgreens to buy things I may need for college. I walked out with Dr. Pepper freeze pop. I think I'm ready. MLIA
• Today, my sister and I went to the the biggest hill in California and watched the sunset over the ocean. We both cried because she's leaving for college in a week. We used to not get along, but now she is the most important person in my life. MLIG just because shes in it

Orientation

• Today, I am the first one in my family to go to college. MLIG
• Yesterday I had my college orientation. I set my alarm clock to play "Eye of the Tiger" when I woke up so that I would have a competitive edge over my peers. I think it worked. MLIA
• Today at my college orientation I met a kid named Ron with red hair and a kid named Harry who wore glasses. I felt like I was going to school at Hogwarts. MLIA
• Today, I met a boy named Peter Piper at my college orientation. I asked him if he had ever picked a peck of pickled peppers. He said yes. We hugged. I think I found my soulmate. MLIA.

Keeping in Touch

• Today, I was leaving school to go register for college. As I was rushing out, a random kid said "Congratulations!" and walked away snickering. When I got outside, my mom was dressed in my college's colors and had decorated our car with balloons and paint. About half the school was out there. FM
• Today, I got home from college. Since I haven't seen my parents in almost a year I sorta expected them to come meet me/pick me up at the airport. Nope. What did I get instead? A text from my dad saying, "I hope you have a key." FML

Dorm Life

• Today, I moved into my dorm room. I was carrying around a pencil in the hallway when I saw another guy moving in. He saw the pencil, pointed his finger at me, and yelled "Expelliarmus!" I threw it like I really had been disarmed. College will be fun. MLIA
• Today I brought my old Nintendo 64 back to my college dorm and started to play Mario Kart. I am now the most popular guy in my dorm. MLIA

Spring Break

• Today, I was enjoying my last day of Spring Break in Panama City. I got up to dance on the stage at the Holiday Inn in front of hundreds of college kids. I tried to be sexy by turning around and bending over. My friends took pictures and my bloody tampon string was hanging out the whole time. FML
• Today, my friends and I were celebrating Spring Break by going out to a club. I saw a very, very cute girl sipping a drink at the bar all by herself. Trying to be a stud I walked over and said "What are you doing Friday night?" Her response: "Not you." FML

Academics

• Today I was thinking about college and whether or not I should switch my major. I'm currently majoring in Biosystems Engineering. I just realized that if I stay with this, I'll be getting a BS in BS engineering. Needless to say, I will not be changing majors. MLIA
• I happened to write my first college paper the night before it was due, which was also the first night I ever got stoned. It was returned to me with an A on it. MLIG!
• Today, I spent the day playing Pokemon Emerald. Even though I'm in college and have finals this week. But you know what? I had SO MUCH FUN. Screw exams, MLIG. :]

In Progress

• Today I graduated high school! I can't wait for college! MLIG!
• Today, I found out I got through my freshman year of college with straight As. MLIG!
• Today, I realized that I'm halfway done with college, I have a job for the summer and the school year, and I think I'm falling in love! MyLifeIsG!
• Today, I turned in an 18-page final paper. I'm so close to finishing college! MLIG!
• Today I found out I passed all my classes. I am officially a college graduate. MLIG.

Life After College

• Today, I saved a life for the first time. I finally truly realize why all those years of college, med school, and residency were worth it. The joy and awe has blown me away. MLIG
• When me and my boyfriend were freshmen in high school, we promised we would break it off after senior year before we go off to college. This incoming fall, we are still together. As seniors in grad school. Our lives are g.
• Today, I was thinking about my college chemistry class, during summer vacation. Instead of thinking about chemical reactions, I was thinking about how I met my first girlfriend, the love of my life, and my future wife because we happened to be in the same class. MLIG

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